Pig of the Month, Tuscumbia Police Chief Tony Logan

Update: Apparently I got Tony Logan confused with Tony Barnett. That's because both of them were fucking the Taco Bell manager. I was wrong about which one got his ball shot off.


Old One ball, is what they call Tony Logan when he isn't listening. That's because several years back he got the other one shot off in the line of duty. Before that he was a real ladies man.

Back in 88 or so Tony was a new cop on the Florence Police Department. In those days Taco Bell, like a lot of restaurants, gave cops a discount. Most places give cops half off, but not Taco Bell. Any cop that came in got free food. So within a matter of weeks of instituting this policy the place was covered up with police officers looking for a free meal.

That wasn't the only thing they were looking for. They were also sniffing around this Assistant Manger named Madge.

Now, Madge wasn't her real name. I'd say names were changed to protect the innocent, but that's not why. She was as guilty as sin and twice as ugly. She was a  She was also married to a preacher, but they had broken up in Virginia and she transferred from a Taco Bell there to the one in Florence to get away from him.

But she was still legally married. So was Tony Logan. Well, good Ol' One Ball, who was two balls then, hooked up with her. Some nights he would be there after closing and they would do it on the prep table in the back. The employees didn't mind, they were busy skimming the till and splitting it with her. Tony looked the other way, none of his business. Or maybe he was too stupid to know employees were adding a couple of dollars to every order that came through. If you ordered two tacos, they would ring up one, make the other, but not ring it up. Then charge you a dollar or two more than what you should have paid. They spit the difference with Marge.

But that's not what was funny. What was really funny was that Tony thought she was with him, only. But she was fucking about 6 or 7 of the cops that came there for free food. Hell, free food and pussy, I'd make a run for that border, wouldn't you? The employees knew, they used to laugh about it with the manager. She would tell stories about how many of them she had fucked. She once fucked two of them at the same time. Said she thought they were really gay for each other and she was just an excuse.

Eventually Tony found out about the other cops. There was some sort of thing behind the scenes at the police station. There was an rule handed down from the chief. Cops were only allowed to get free food at Taco Bell once a week. And they weren't allowed to hang out there more than 30 minutes and never after hours, unless they were getting robbed.

So Tony Logan is our Pig of the Month. Show up at any Taco Bell Cheif Logan and get a free meal for old times sake. They have bacon, now, pig. The Grouch is paying.